Cover Letter
To whom it may concern:
Welcome to my writing portfolio and it is nice to meet all of you in the academic writing class from March to June, 2007. We have spent a sweet time together and did a few writings in this class, that is, free writing for fourteen times, four reading logs, timed-writing for three times and a formal essay.
I have had years of training about how to arrange better paragraphs and use more splendid words while writing in English. In this writing class, English seems to be a ‘mother tongue’ to me. Maybe this should be attributed to that Ron is a native American. He told us to make smooth writing, to write whatever we think of and not to worry about the grammar and spelling all the time. Thus, I lay more emphasis on the content rather than the form of the passage. Free-writing is the part I love the most. Now that I don’t need to show it to anyone else, I can follow my heart and write whatever I want. If I can not think of anything, I just need to write I can not think of anything until the words come to my pen. Free-writing without pressure allows us to have a boarder mind of the topic given.
I did four reading logs and chose the story the Americanization of Shadrach Cohen as my reading log in my writing portfolio for it is a story with happy ending. I wrote quite random and even associated the text I learned in my junior middle school. Gradually I learned how to give personal ideas after reading the story. This kind of practice laid a good foundation for the essay writing in the latter part of the class.
Timed-writing requires quick thinking and writing. It is challenging and the topic of final-timed writing was appealing. I put myself in the position of Mme. Loisel and imagined what she might feel and do if she had not lost her necklace.
Essay writing gave me a chance to learn to write formally and profoundly. In this part the Dead Men’s Path was my choice. The tragedy in the story trapped me into deepest sorrow. Although the ending of the story seemed absurd and appeared as a punishment to Michael Obi, I still think the tragedy was doomed to happen. If you are interested in why I think in this way, you can view the essay below.
From writing randomly to essay writing, I gain the ability to write in a formal way and attach importance to content by degrees and I can think of more angels when I get the topic. Depth of thought of the passage should be strengthened and more attention should be paid to how to write in a formal way. Finding evidence to support the thesis of the story and to convince others was crucial.
China and America have different culture and this difference reflects upon writing. For the past decade of years, our Chinese teachers used to teach us to quote beautiful sentences in our passages, but we never used quotation marks or mention the sentences were cited. We even did not do this when we took the college entrance examinations. Of course, too much quoting will be considered plagiarism.
Once, Ron told us to write a short fragment of the Dead Men’s Path on class. It had something to do with the background of the story. The only way to get the background information under the circumstances is to quote the background information before the essay. I copied the sentence but I forgot to use quotation marks. Ron saw this and pointed it out severely.
Then it called to my mind that Ron’s slides were always with “work cited” when he quoted other’s words. We have to admit that Americans lay much more emphasis on copyright than we do. This is the most impressing thing I learn from this writing class and it is a quite serious problem. I learned in a Korean film that if one quotes others’ words more than three times in an essay without “work cited”, the essay will be considered plagiarism. Asian culture does give enough emphasis to copyright and I did not get enough education of this kind. From now on, I start to think highly of copyright for this is what I have to do but used to neglect to do.
Thank you for taking time to read my writing portfolio.I learned a lot from peer review and made a few friends here. Thanks to Ron for your help. Best wishes to all of you.
Yours,
Angker Song
Essay Draft Three
Angker Song
June5, 2007
Draft Three
A Doomed Tragedy
At the turn of twentieth century, British colonized Nigeria, a country which fell behind the times with traditional religion. When the British officials first came to Nigeria, they were totally ignorant of the local life. They imagined that “their work was about pens, ink and paper” (from the internet) for they used to live in a country which represented the trend of the development of the new world. Thus, it seemed impossible to convince the two sides of the other.
Chinua Achebe, the author of Dead Men’s Path had lived both in Nigeria and western countries (about the author, 52), which allowed him a wide prospect of the overall situation. He must have a deep thoughts and feelings about the great disparity between Nigeria and developed countries. Dead Men’s Path by Chinua Achebe gave us a vivid depiction of the conflict caused by different background. Michael Obi, the hero of Dead Men’s Path was one of those typical British. He closed the villagers’ dead men’s path through the school garden on behalf of modern belief and got a nasty report in the end. Because of the different backgrounds of Michael Obi and the villagers, the tragedy was doomed to happen.
The author drew a clear picture of Michael Obi at first, a young, aggressive headmaster full of new and modern ideas. His advantages distinguished him from others, so he denounced those inferior with a superior air. Obi was a person with obvious arrogance and abilities surpassing people surrounding. But a person’s character was not born by nature. It must be related to his living background. Obi’s character was developed by family environment and the current British society.
Obi’s wife was totally “infected by his passion for modern methods.”(53) and regarded herself as “the admired wife of the young master.”(53) Obi had a wife who was in full support of him and his new ideas. She, too, pursued new technology for this represented her unique state. He lived in an environment with wholly obedience and no objection. He was the member of the delegation from a highly developed world who was absolutely ignorant of the living standard of the local villagers. All he thought about was the stupidity of the Nigerian or even he might regard himself as the hero to change the backwardness, the hero to save the young children, the hero to spread civilization. With all “for”s and no “against”s, it was hard for him to suppose what if his modern methods met obstacles. All he needed was just a chance to prove himself, to prove his superior ability representing the Great Britain, the whole new world.
According to the priest, this path had existed for a long history, even long before Obi’s ancestor’s birth. The path was of unique significance to the villagers. “Our dead relatives depart by it and our ancestors visit us by it. But most important, it is the path of children coming to be born. “(54) The dead men’s path had a long history and the people in village were taught the importance of the path generation by generation since they were born. It was a backward country which had no connection with the outer world before the British came. The villagers had quite a narrow view about what the world was. All they know was the traditional religion they followed for years. The priest admitted that what Obi said might be true to some extent but the villagers still have no reason to ignore the religion and they stuck to the tradition whether it was right or not. They could not betray the religion their ancestors had set. It was attributed to the education they received. Someone attempted to close the dead men’s path before Obi. In return, this behavior arose trouble. Closing the path provoked the villagers’ anger. We can deduce that the school garden might be destroyed once any headmaster attempted to close the path. All these behavior of the villagers can be concluded to their religion and their culture, in a word, their background.
On one hand, Nigeria’s traditional religion was certainly not in the realm of classic culture and for sure it was conflicted to the modern world. Nigeria used to be a tribal society (from the internet), a primitive form of society without any new hope of change in the future. The Nigerian followed the ancestors, obeyed the religion and believed in superstitions. On the other hand, the world was vigorously developed by new science and technology and it would keep on developing. Obi had every reason to close the path on behalf of changing the backwardness of the local situation. The Nigeria villagers had followed the conventions for generations and had no idea of the developing of the world at full speed. They did what their fathers had done and hold true belief to the traditional religion. Both sides had done nothing wrong from the prospective of theirs. Just like a blind people can exactly imagine a colorful world and a normal one can taste the feeling of a blind. But it was because of their different background that resulted in different way of thinking which brought about the tragedy in the end.
The story is more than culture shock. I prefer to attribute the reason of the tragedy to different background. What’s more, it was not only a tragedy to Obi and the villagers. It reflects a more extensive tragedy in the nowadays world. People with a good intention misunderstood each other only because they hold different background. They do not mean to hurt each other. Is there anything more pathetic than this? Obi’s character has something to do with his living background. His new ideas and modern methods were got from the development of Britain. The villagers just followed the traditions of their ancestors generation by generation. We can not make choice of our background. That is, both sides can not choose their decisions due to their backgrounds. Is there anything sadder than making the choice totally because of one’s background? This is what I discovered under the impressing ending of the story.
Work Cited
Chinua Achebe, “Dead Men’s Path”, 1953. Rpt in “The International Story”, Page 52-54
Essay Draft Two
Angker Song
May21, 2007
Draft Two
A Doomed Tragedy
At the turn of twentieth century, British colonized Nigeria, a country which fell behind the times with traditional religion. When the British officials first came to Nigeria, they were totally ignorant of the local life. They imagined that their work was about pens, ink and paper for they used to live in a country which represented the trend of the development of the new world. Thus, it seemed impossible to convince the two sides of the other.
Chinua Achebe, the author of Dead Men’s Path had lived both in Nigeria and western countries, which allowed him a wide prospect of the overall situation. He must have a deep thoughts and feelings about the great disparity between Nigeria and developed countries. Dead Men’s Path by Chinua Achebe gave us a vivid depiction of the conflict caused by different background. Michael Obi, the hero of Dead Men’s Path was one of those typical British. He destroyed the villager’ dead men’s path through the school garden on behalf of modern belief and got a nasty report in the end. Restrained to the background of Obi and the villagers, the tragedy was doomed to happen.
The author drew a clear picture of Michael Obi at first, a young, aggressive headmaster full of new and modern ideas. His advantages distinguished him from others, so he denounced those inferior with a superior air. Obi was a person with obvious arrogance and abilities surpassing people surrounding. Everyone’s character was not born by nature. It must be related to his living background. Obi’s character was developed by his wife and the current British society.
Let’s have a look at Obi’s living environment. His wife “had become completely infected by his passion for modern methods.”(53) “She began to see herself already as the admired wife of the young master.”(53) Obi had a wife who was in full support of him and his new ideas. He lived in an environment with wholly obedience and no objection. He was the member of the delegation from a highly developed world who was absolutely ignorant of the living standard of the local villagers. All he thought about was the stupidity of the Nigeria or even he might regard himself as the hero to change the backwardness, the hero to save the young children, the hero to spread civilization. With all “for”s and no “against”s, it was hard for him to suppose what if his modern methods met obstacles. He just needed a chance to prove himself, to prove his superior ability representing the Great Britain, the new world.
According to the priest, “This path was here before you were born and before your father was born. The whole life of this village depends on it. Our dead relatives depart by it and our ancestors visit us by it. But most important, it is the path of children coming to be born. “(54) The dead men’s path had a long history and the people in village were taught the importance of the path generation by generation since they were born. It was a backward country which had no connection with the outer world before the British came. The villagers had quite a narrow view about what the world was. All they know was the traditional religion they followed for years. “What you say may be true, but we follow the practices of our fathers.”(54) The priest said this at last. As you can see, the villagers stuck to the traditional religion whether it was right. They could not betray the religion their ancestors had set. It was attributed to the education they received. “There was a big row some time ago when we attempted to close it.”(53) Closing the path provoked the villagers’ anger. We can deduce that the school garden might be destroyed once any headmaster attempted to close the path. All these can be concluded to their religion and their culture, in a word, their background.
Nigeria’s traditional religion was certainly not in the realm of classic culture and for sure it was conflicted to the modern world. Obi had every reason to close the path on behalf of changing the backwardness of the local situation. The Nigeria villagers had followed the conventions for generations and had no idea of the developing of the world. They did what their fathers had done and hold true belief to the traditional religion. Both sides had done nothing wrong from the prospective of theirs. But it was because of their different background that resulted in different way of thinking which brought about the tragedy in the end.
The story is more than culture shock. I’d prefer to attribute the reason of the tragedy to different background. What’s more it was not only a tragedy to Obi and the villagers. It reflects a more extensive tragedy. People misunderstood each other just because they hold different background. Is there anything more pathetic than this? Obi’s character has something to do with his living background. His new ideas and modern methods were got from the development of Britain. The villagers just followed the traditions of their ancestors generation by generation. We can not make choice of our background. Thus, both sides can not choose their decisions restrained to background. Is there anything sadder than making the choice totally because of one’s background? This is what I discovered under the impressing ending of the story.
Essay Draft One
Angker Song
May5, 2007
Draft One
Communication and Compromise
At the turn of twentieth century, British colonized Nigeria, a country which fell behind the times. When the British officials first came to Nigeria, they were totally ignorant of the local life. They imagined that their work was about pens, ink and paper for they used to live in a country which represented the trend of the development of the new world. Thus, it seemed impossible for the two sides to understand each other.
Chinua Achebe, the author of Dead Men’s Path had lived both in Nigeria and western countries, which allowed him a wide prospect of the overall situation. He must have a deep thoughts and feelings about the great disparity between Nigeria and developed countries. How to govern a colony while meeting culture shock? How to protect one’s traditional religion against external power? Dead Men’s Path by Chinua Achebe gave us a vivid depiction of the conflict caused by barbaric religion and the culture shock. Further more, Michael Obi, the hero of Dead Men’s Path was one of those typical British.
At the beginning of the story, the author drew a clear picture of Michael Obi, a young, aggressive headmaster full of new and modern ideas. His advantages distinguished him from others, so he denounced those inferior with a superior air. “He was outspoken in his condemnation of the narrow views of these older and often less-educated ones.”(52) Obi was a person with obvious arrogance and abilities surpassing people surrounding. This vivid characteristic resulted to his stubbornness and led to the tragedy to some extent in the end.
Let’s have a look at Obi’s living environment. His wife “had become completely infected by his passion for modern methods.”(53) “She began to see herself already as the admired wife of the young master.”(53) Obi had a wife who was in full support of him and his new ideas. He lived in an environment with wholly obedience and no objection. He was the member of the delegation from a highly developed world who was absolutely ignorant of the living standard of the local villagers. All he thought about was the stupidity of the Nigeria or even he might regard himself as the hero to change the backwardness, the hero to save the young children, the hero to spread civilization. With all “for”s and no “against”s, it was hard for him to suppose what if his modern methods met obstacles. He just needed a chance to prove himself, to prove his superior ability.
He won the power to be the headmaster and took it as a gold opportunity to put his ability to good use. “Obi accepted this responsibility with enthusiasm. He had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice.”(52) In Obi’s idea, “He has two aims. A high standard of teaching was insisted upon, and the school compound was to be turned into a place of beauty.”(53) It was an unprogressive middle school in great need of energetic young headmaster like Obi. That is, Obi and the middle school were fit for each other. Everything seemed perfect and went on well until one day…
One day “Obi found faint signs of an almost disused path from the village across the school compound to the bush on the other side.”(53) According to a teacher’s depiction, the footpath had a long history and was of great significance to the local. It was a path that “connected the village shrine with their place to burial.”(53) Shocked by the villagers’ use of the footpath, he attempted to close the footpath disregard the teacher’s suggestion. He also gave second thought to day when the Government Education Officer came to inspect the school. For the beauty of the school and his personal interest and also on the behalf of abolishing the barbaric religion, he decided to close the footpath.
The author arranged the villager priest to give Obi another chance for communication and compromise. The priest declared the history and the importance of the footpath. “This path was here before you were born and before your father was born. The whole life of this village depends on it. Our dead relatives depart by it and our ancestors visit us by it. But most important, it is the path of children coming to be born.”(54) Obi took the communication as a debate with the priest according to his theory. “The whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs as that. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Our duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.”(54) The priest compromised a little bit. He said “What you say may be true, but we follow the practices of our fathers.” On the other hand, Obi continued to insist his regulations. Obi had a way stronger power over the villagers and the priest. The latter had nothing do with Obi’s behavior once he persisted in closing the footpath.
Maybe nothing would happen if the young woman in the village didn’t die in childbed. However, she did. On the basis of the local religion, “A diviner was immediately consulted and he prescribed heavy sacrifices to propitiate ancestors insulted by the fence.” The story had an ironic and profound ending. Obi’s beautiful school garden was ruined on the day the supervisor came to inspect the school. “Obi received a nasty report on the state of the premises but more seriously about the ‘tribal-war situation developing between the school and the village, arising in part from the misguided zeal of the new headmaster’.”(54)
Obi paid heavy price for his zeal and zest for he lacked communication and compromise. Although he had chances to get to know more about the local traditional religion, restrained to his background, he refused to compromise and he turned every chance of communication into a debate, which to prove his new methods and advanced theory. Obi wanted to change the backwardness of the village but the local didn’t think their living environment was behind the times. Obi was on behalf of the trend of the development of the world. It was way easier for him to acquaint himself with the local living environment than let the villagers get to know his theory. Facing such situation, communication, instead of debate, came to first priority on the basis of a good master of the local situation. If communication didn’t work, Obi should compromise to some extent for with continuous communication, the villagers would have a better understanding of Obi’s theory and methods to create a win-win situation at last.
Final Timed-writing
0522092
Angker Song
June 21, 2007
Timed-writing three
Directions: From The Necklace, what might have been the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life if she had not lost the necklace? Is her life better or worse now?
It is quite appealing to know what Mme. Loisel’s life would be if she had not lost her necklace.
Mme. Loisel certainly did not need to do the ten years’ hard work to pay for the antique necklace borrowed form her friend. It seemed that she led a leisure life from appearance. Without such a heavy burden, she might continue to indulge in the dance party deeply. She had a beautiful memory and she could live on it for a couple of days. In this period of time, all the things she thought about was about the party, how gorgeous she was at the party, the praise she got from men and envy she received from women and the luxurious necklace. Her life was used to recall the beautiful memory.
Then she might come to reality for it was different from her lovely memory. She might turn from great happiness to deeper despair. As a beautiful and gorgeous woman, she could not own the clothes that matched her appearance. She would complain more about her current life just because she had once experienced the life she dreamed of. It was quite nature that she would urge her husband to bring her to another dance party as soon as possible. She might use all her life complaining for she could not lead the life she wanted. This was certainly not a high quality life.
Everyone grows old. When Mme. Loisel grew old, she was no longer a beautiful woman. With wrinkle crawled onto her face, she was just an ordinary woman now. All she could do was to rely on her memory she had when she was young. Complaint was still on. She might suppose as a striking beauty, what if she was born in a rich family. And now, she was old and not beautiful anymore. Actually she had nothing then. Can we call this a high quality life? I suppose not.
It was apparent that Mme. Loisel did not need to do the ten years’ hard work if she had not lost her necklace. But she would use her whole life to complain, to recall the beautiful memory and to waste all her life doing nothing. The quality of her life was not high.
Her life might be worse if she had not lost her necklace.
After ten years’ hard work, she got a real necklace if her friend returned it to her. She could sell it and get the money as saving. What’s more, she would come to realize how much her husband loved her. This kind of love was way more precious than all the necklaces in the world. After ten years hard work, she must have turned into reality and get to know how to face the real world. She had some money and a good husband. Although she had lost her youth and beauty, she realized something that could stay forever, that was her husband’s love. With that sum of money, they did not need to work that hard and led a peaceful life ever after
Compared with the imagined life, this kind of peaceful life was much better. What’s more, she could know that luxurious life was not the only form of life that could bring happiness.
Reading Log
Balance
The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen by Bruno Lessing is a story focusing on whether to be Americanized or not. The two sons in the story were Americanized while their father stuck to his religion, which led to conflicts.
The story reminds me of a passage in our former English text book, which depicts a family that moves from Italy to America. The son drives to suburban supermarkets to do the purchasing and leads an American life. His parents were afraid that maybe some day he will forget his country, his language and his culture. On the other hand, the parents go to the nearby Italian grocery and they are forever talking about the good old days. Thus to be Americanized or not is a common phenomenon. Also we can see the parents and their offspring go to the two extremes.
America is a melting pot, which holds people with different culture form various regions of the world. But you have to admit, that doesn't mean America doesn't have its own culture .Melting pot is her culture. It seems difficult for the old to abandon their own culture while the youngsters are willing to be Americanized. Do in Rome as the Romans do.
In my opinion, it is way easier to mix with the American society if you are Americanized. But it is not wise to neglect your own culture totally. People from the west and the east think differently. The former are more liberal while the latter are more conservative. As Chinese, maybe the best way is to be half-Americanized. We can think in an American way while working. When it comes to family, it is better to show our tenderness and carefulness as we are so used to be in this way. We can learn a lot when Americanized for America is a developed country. However it is also a good choice to be conservative when facing some private problems. There is no standard whether it is good to be Americanized or not. The most significant thing is be to balanced and lead the life you want.